The Dark Triad: A Game of Power, Status and Self-centered Perspectives

Are you following narcissistic views?

As an expert in understanding the DARK TRIAD of personalities and their underlying roots, I have come to a space of acceptance for their existence, although this in no way implies I approve of them within my soul’s home or my personal and sacred space.

It simply means I honor all people for their innate traits and unique journey through this life and that I personally have the ultimate power to set my own boundaries to protect myself from their harm.

I will passively observe and move on, until their existence is within my space. And then I listen with curiosity; compassion for their struggle that they CANNOT and will

I can see through to the soul and find clarity in their truth. To be triggered by them or to all them to bring me harm is a direct reflection myself and my own need to heal. Each person I truly see is a reflection of me in some way.

The Dark Triad is their curse of darkness. Their own karmic energy manifest in this life. It is their burden, and has nothing to do with me. However, I have a CHOICE to give them my power or to reclaim it for myself.

I am often saddened by the ease in which their charisma and charm, their beauty and confidence seems to lure in the masses who GENUINELY BELIEVE their message. These folks are cunning, masterful and artistic in their approach. They are masters of illusion and expert weavers of secrecy, lies and twists. They are champion deflectors, turning attention and blame towards others as a means of taking it from themselves.

They are arrogant, but hide behind their charming or confident shell. A shell that, when broken, activates the darkest of dark.

Maybe the message, advice or information they speak has some validity, but if you dig, usually just below the surface, you will find their truth. Read how they respond to any dissenting comments or contradictory statements. You will often find name calling, humiliation and blame.

I’m not saying we won’t ever experience something or someone who will trigger us into a space of reaction. It happens! In fact, for some of us who walk the line of personal truth and freedom, it is a constant to witness:

*Name calling (both in jest and overt) *Attempts to discredit or demean *Having to respond with argument, retaliation and yelling. *Blaming, both direct and filtered *Humiliation, especially via plausible deniability *Walking out or shutting off comments or blocking AFTERWARD

But it is through the reaction of these personalities where the consistent patterns reveal themselves. I say again: consistent patterns.

When I follow a lead or research a methodology or system, I try to do so with a child-like curiosity. This means listening and asking genuine questions with a curious energy and focused attention. I don’t allow my own perceptions to put confusion or judgment in the driver’s seat, but rather, wonderment and love for their soul DESPITE the message they are bringing being littered with conflicting sentiments.

But sometimes, even if a portion of their message is valid, I find their energy to be so misaligned that I cannot subscribe to their message because, well, it’s bound by a thin protective barrier of “Its my way only”. And for me, I refuse to allow myself to be sucked into their dark spiral of selfish and righteous beliefs…EVEN IF THEY SEEM KNOWLEDGEABLE OR CHARMING!

So, I believe that we as a student of this life have a responsibility to ourself, our own growth and healing first and foremost. It is up to us individually to establish a foundation of self-love, self-respect and inner peace before we go looking to others for answers. Why? Because the answers are already inside of you!!!

There will be guides along your path and synchronistic experiences and encounters to remind you of your journey, but there will also be individuals and views that trigger you, sometimes into such a rage that you feel that for the good of all, you MUST RESPOND; you MUST DEFEND. This will only end in an escalation of toxic arrows, and can even disrupt harmony with others.

Often, this is reflective of the Dark Triad. It reveals the reality that some individuals are misaligned, improperly wired and possibly prefer to be callous and not genuinely concerned with the well-being of others, ESPECIALLY if the others don’t believe the same as them!

What is the Dark Triad?

In general, it is a triangle of THREE anti-social personality disorders that reveal high probability for negative issues, conflict and criminal activity.

This triad is known for causing severe ‘problems’, such as conflict and distrust within a tribe, social structure and relationship, and is indicative of social distress in some capacity.

When an individual within the Dark Triad are in entrepreneurial roles, are leaders or hosts of their own YouTube channels, professional business, authors of books, and other forms of creativity of messages, you will often witness their desire to create problems for others, albeit an organization or discredit an individual or a way of life.

Even those who proclaim ‘spiritual ascension’ or preach messages of shifting and transformation, they can hold a ‘with me or against me’ level of energy that has nothing to do with their message, and one that most followers are unable to see because they are hooked on the individual’s aesthetics such as confidence in their message, vanity, revealing their body parts and other traits. It’s as though their own shadows KNOW that sexualizing their message will increase their views and subscribers, gain them the attention they need to feel a sense of power and create a bubble kingdom from where they can rule.

However, when the bubble is threatened or popped, the truth is often revealed.

Within the Dark Triad, you will often see:

Lack of compassion for others

Lack of being agreeable, especially to anyone who doesn’t agree

Lack of empathy/understanding for others

Underlying truths of these individuals are they are:

-Often dissatisfied with their own ‘present’ life, and therefore NEED validation from an audience or a following to make the FEEL important. However, if you ask them, they will confidently express they are satisfied, are at peace AND will outwardly discredit anyone who is not congruent or in alignment with their message.

-Frequently display, either verbally or in retaliatory/reactive commenting that is full of hate and not boundaries, a lack of emotional intelligence to dissenting or opposing viewpoints, opinions and even challenges to their opinions even if these are expressed through compassion and love. An opposing view almost instantly sets them into a state of retaliation, reaction and they are predictably triggered into words, trying to BRING SOMEONE ELSE into play as the cause. I’ve heard these individuals use humiliation, conviction and even the common terms below as a means of deflection towards opposing opinions:

-People are making psychic attacks against me/trying to discredit me

-(x) is manipulating your mind and is fake/false (…in response for doing the same work, just in a different method)

-money is a tool and those who don’t have it are just jealous (this directly ties into their appearance, looks, status and attention)

Their following or support is often widespread, usually based upon their physical appearance or the confidence in their message….even IF RESEARCH REVEALS they are doing it all FOR THE DOLLAR!

This is why I often research deeper into ANYONE whose message I resonate with and choose to bring into my personal soul space or home. I did a little research recently into a spiritual individual who was asking for money for her message, only to find her profession was ‘Internet marketing’. When a person feels called to service, they don’t ask for anything in return.

A personal story of mine relative to this, as I use to follow, at least partially follow a leader in muscle development and training. I believed his methodology to a certain extent, and even shared it with my own clients. It was after about 7 years of apply his techniques and skills to my own training and client programming did I find out he was an abusive, repeatedly cheating Machiavellian Narcissistic whose rise to power and fame was NOT to help others (and he has millions of followers), but a pattern of self-centered greedy steps where he held no emotional concern for the well-being of others.

His empire was built on hurting others.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen this in every facet of the wellness and growth industry, because these individuals NEED THE VULNERABILITY, WEAKNESS and FEAR of others to meet their goals and benchmarks. But most of all, to empower and embolden them.

Their messages are often based on non-disclosed ‘sources’, intel or even self-serving studies…all information that fully supports their message because, in this triad, they are the superstar and genuinely FEEL THEY ARE THE WAY; the one who has all of the answers. Their following is their intel!

The Dark Triad consists of:




Let’s start off with the Psychopath.

This individual is often selfish and callous. They don’t typically FEEL remorseful for their actions and behaviors, although many have been conditioned to apologize because they know it makes things right again and helps them feed their selfishness. They are often unemotional, without any, or very little feelings for others. In fact, the further out of their circle that serves them, the less emotion affiliated. However, some have no emotional empathy at all; only an understanding of how they may feel about a situation (angry, sad).

Their egos lead the way, even though they will VERBALLY tell you and try to convince you their egos do not lead the way.

They are impulsive and reactive, even spirts of BOLD and BRAZEN acts. They are frequently manipulative to get what they want, as they are self-serving.

Statistics show a significant portion of prisoners score high in traits affiliated with PSYCHOPATHIC personality disorder, and are often incarcerated more than once for their crimes, obstinacy, discipline issues and often violence such as physical fighting.

They are often at high risk of substance abuse, especially starting at younger ages!

Psychopaths most often reveal an abusive or traumatic life before the age of 4, indicating that abuse in the family and traumatic experiences in very early childhood can ignite this corner of the Triad.

The greatest concern is they genuinely lack the understanding of how their selfish beliefs and behaviors impact others in the grand scheme of their bubble. They see themselves in self driven ways, although many try to SPEAK (not feel) or SHOW compliance, apologies, recourse and understanding as these things are a learned response to help keep them out of conflict.

Psychopaths tend to operate on impulse, whether through lack of planning or a sudden get up and go energy. In summary, they are callous, impulsive, unaware of others feelings/opinions/choices, unaware of consequences of their choices and have a high prevalence in conflict and aggressive criminal behaviors such as assault.

Machiavellian personality is a little different from the psychopath, although it can overlaps with the others in the triangle.

These individuals are cold and callous, however they are intentionally calculating and manipulative. They are callous in their actions and will step on people in order to achieve their goals, even if stepping on them harms them!

Everyone and everything in their world is disposable for their existence.

One of the KEY differences is they have a blatant disregard for morality.

Machiavellian individuals are commonly found amongst elitists and the dark energy circles of corporate leaders, politicians, religious leaders and others who are self proclaimed leadersThey are often affiliated with sex scandals, child pornography, sex trafficking, cults where sexual or torturous acts are part of the standards, drug trafficking, selling of arms illegally, strip clubs and other immoral moral acts and behaviors. They are the perfect example of CULT leaders who have massive followings, high-priced seminars and a LOT of untold stories of inner abuse and torture from former ‘members’.

I’ve know several of these individuals in my life and their charm is so alluring that even the most diligent of individuals find themselves being held underwater before they known it.

They are often not agreeable or conscientious, although their CHARM dictates otherwise. In fact, it’s their charm and charisma hat seems to draw people in

The master of manipulation, these individuals! The ultimate in evil.

Finally, we have the Narcissist, which is the most commonly ‘tossed around’ accusation and proclaimed diagnosis, usually in an attempt to DEFLECT onto others a label who may simply possesses a few affiliated traits.

Again, as with the other two in the Triad, you will see that some traits of a narcissistic may overlap the traits of a psychopath or a Machiavellian individual.

Narcissism is DIFFERENT than healthy self-love and self protection, but can sometimes be misused as a weapon of accusation when someone is practicing healthy self-love, especially in relationships! In fact, when a person stands up for their personal boundaries within their own business or personal space, they are often called ‘narcissistic’ or told they have ‘narcissistic traits’….most often said by a true narcissist.

THIS is key to understanding the narcissist! The narcissist does NOT want anyone to speak against them. They cannot engage in healthy debate, nor are they able to tolerate different perspectives and methods without being critical or sarcastic. They are incapable of respectful relationships, even though the pretend to empower others.

It is also necessary to say that a narcissist is NOT the same as someone who is ego-centric, although the ego plays a significant role in a narcissistic personality. An individual who is ego-centric operated from their personal ‘feel good’ principal whereas a narcissist must be the center of attention, the prettiest, the best dressed, the know it all…they MUST be seen only in a positive light and accepted, liked, embraced and validated for their message and life.

When a narcissist is all these things, they are charming, jovial and affectionate. The world loves them and it shows. BUT challenge them and they will turn to humiliation, degradation and condemnation!

It is believed that a true narcissist subconsciously views his life as a PERFORMANCE, or something that is OVER once we move on from a scene.

Kind of like a play! When the act is over, it’s over. That’s why relationships with narcissistic individuals are so challenging. They can wake up the next day after they were overtly mean to their partner and act like nothing happened!

They are often accurately seen as being one, all or several of the following:

-Having to be in charge, make the decisions on the structure of something and hold authority or the final say (even if it’s just verbally saying ‘well, I would do it this way’), however, Because a narcissistic individual doesn’t want to make themselves appear this way, they may pretend to take the back seat, even though their INSIDE voice is speaking assaults against the one really in charge

-Having an air of superiority over others, either in small ways such as making sure others SEE their performance (Look at me! I’ve got 5,000 FB FRIEND/LIKES/SUBS) and when it receives validation, they draw a sense of ‘see, I know what I’m doing’. They may even draw attention by humiliating or making fun of someone else’s expressions.

This is a very common overt trait, as these individuals often speak in their defense ‘I was just kidding’ when deploying their truth again you.

There is a great deal of arrogance and righteousness in these folks, and they will try to align with a side or outwardly discredit someone else through manipulative ways. They NEED validation, even if they say they don’t.

-Having a sense of being self-absorbed and constantly admiring the self in ways that are vain, even obsessive. These individuals are more reflective of the selfie-takers whose FB Page is selfie after selfie after selfie, especially is highly grand, sexual or attractive poses. Being so obsessed with YOUR path and your path only, your perspectives, your believes, your methods, your practice and your looks and features, NOT wanting anyone to ever question you or even come across as questioning….that is a great depiction of this trait.

-Having a tendency to want to be exploitive of others, especially who aren’t in agreement with you and having a strong sense of entitlement and deserving a ‘piece of the pie’. These types often hide out in FB commenting sections. They will ‘call you out’ if they don’t agree with your perspective, often with joking humor (which is their way of asserting their entitlement to opine) or through DIRECT argument!

This is NOT to be confused with someone who is protecting their heartfelt message of truth, integrity and respect. But again, folks who do stand up against narcissistic individuals are OFTEN labelled a narcissist by the narcissist in the HEAT.

If you want to test this theory, tell someone IN A HEATED moment they are triggered by your words. They will often immediately turn it around in you and tell you that YOU are triggered.

Of course, they exist in every office, every gym and every home as well. If you disagree or speak a dissenting statement, they will pull up your past, or try to expose something you have done. They will even focus on twisting the innocence of your truth into making it all about them.

As you can see, many folks may hold a trait of narcissism periodically, but it is the consistent, regular, daily practice of these traits that reveal truth.

They are ALWAYS the victim and righteous if their opinion or belief is challenged. They are often prone to STONEWALLING people, or just cutting them off and cutting them out as a means of punishment (I’m going to walk out of your life and you will suffer without me!). This is frequently expressed by phrases like ‘I’M DONE with you’ and they will walk away and walk out.

This is different from self-protection, when you are being yelled at or degraded by a narcissist, which the narcissist will often blame you for narcissism if you set boundaries with compassion and self protection.

You cannot criticize a narcissist, as they will instantly combat you! They do NOT like to be challenged. They do not like to listen to your perspective. They do not want to hear your opinions.

This is because they don’t CARE about what you feel or say unless it SUPPORTS their opinion. They believe they are perfect, and require no change,so any different perspectives will be viewed as an attack on their ‘subconscious’ perfection.

Statement: I think fake eyebrows/eyelashes are so unattractive!

Normal/healthy response: They are definitely getting out of hand these days but I enjoy getting mine done. The individual ten continues to live their life on their terms without any combative comment.

Narcissistic response: You are just jealous lol! I guess because you choose to be ‘plain jane’, everyone else should too! My man loves my eyebrows and eyelashes! Haters gonna hate!

The narcissist felt personally attacked and criticized, even if the statement was NOT targeted towards them. They are defensive and combative, Sometimes through humor, sarcasm or a direct response.

They like to minimize another’s humbled or vulnerable performance/ideas by pointing out flaws, or getting irritated or even slightly combative. They are unaware that others have boundaries and will constantly cross those boundaries, blaming the boundary setter for being too sensitive.

Another example of personal experience was the day I chose to tell someone I really appreciated them in my life, but I felt a little uncomfortable about how they behaved around my spouse and that my spouse had expressed concerns as well. It took me WEEKS to collect the right words and methods to share this information of truth.

I had become vulnerable and open with this person. Maybe even too much, because I turned to her when I was feeling hurt or my spouse and I had conflict and I needed an ear. I genuinely had opened up my heart to her, which was why it was going to be challenging to share our discomfort.

I was very careful to choose non-stacking words, and following an inappropriate interaction, I explained to her with an intent of honesty and love that I felt hurt when she acted this way.

She took everything I had ever told her and twisted it around into an attack on me. She said hateful things about me and my husband…and then she just walked out, blocked us and never spoke to us again.

This individual revealed many traits of a narcissist.

Think of the narcissist as the individual who has all of the answers to the world’s problems, has the highest level of experience (whether education or ‘the school of life), knows how to DO IT and even pretends to lend a sense of autonomy to others but them criticized them and their methods…..even if you didn’t ASK them for their help, their opinion or their perspective.

So back to the original purpose of this article….are you following narcissistic views?

Are you aligning with someone who pretends to know everything or who is an ‘expert’ or uses ‘science’ or ‘data’ as the only way?

Are you aligning with someone who speaks your language, but who has dark secrets of manipulation or worse, publicly speaks against another because their opinion or perspective and methods were different (ie…you are a fake guide because you held a protest in this manner…or you are a threat because you don’t believe this person is the way)?

People who are in-person, up front and in the face living and showing their life congruent with their message are the ones who are here to guide us!

These are the authentic teachers! These are the purveyors and guides of life. Not that you cannot find lessons of life from the narcissist.

These individuals aren’t concerned with vanity or followers. They aren’t concerned about what others will think of their message. The true teachers aren’t proclaiming to be teachers!

Teachers are not the ones who spend their day behind a makeup mirror with perfect lighting, exuding materialism at its peak and ASKING FOR FUNDING while sharing a message of peace and higher consciousness.

Truth does not require props. It does not require pretty backdrops or ‘cued’ rehearsed words that say the same thing over and over and over.

Truth does not greet other’s perspectives as an attack on yourself and their responses (you can see this on any YouTube channel commenting section or on Facebook comments) are NOT negative or combative. In fact, a person of truth will not worry about proving the dissenting perspective wrong, but will either…

-delete the comment if it is hateful to provide more space for the topic

-ignore the comment

-respond with a high sense of integrity and class…we appreciate your perspective. Thank you!

That is professionalism.

So during this time of confusion, make sure you align with people who LIVE and REVEAL through their journey their truth if you are seeking alignment.


-the single/unmarrried woman who advises you on healthy marriages who just went through a major divorce because her spouse had been cheating on her for 20 years and she enabled it

-the overweight coach with poor eating habits of consistency, lots of stress and lack of consistent workouts trying to tell you how to get fit and strong

-the shaman who is vain, adorned with jewels and makeup and photo shoots telling you to be humble and give up materialism?

-the self-proclaimed ascended individual who says love is the only way but spends great energy on taking about how other

-the medicated individual who is trying to tell you about health and lifestyle

-the off-grid self-sufficient individual who pays a video team, a construction team and contractors to build their structures and systems

In summary

There is a great deal of DARK TRIAD energy lurking through the media, Facebook, YouTube and even individuals you encounter.

Be aware of this Dark Triad. Do your research beyond the message. People of truth who are helping you are not ego centric folks who need to LOOK perfect or APPEAR perfect to their viewers or clients.

We love messy truth, dissenting opinions of kindness and compassion and we love living the life we speak of living, hoping to help ONE person do the same!

It is our intention to continue to share with you our life as authentically as we can! We respect perspectives of respect of all.

We will continue on our path of integrity and refuse to align with the narcissistic because we value our true freedom to live authentically without criticism and judgement.

The light in US sees the light in YOU and respects it. Even if we don’t agree with you. Hate will be removed. Kindness with be appreciated.

Narcissism will be given its deserved respect, as it will not be allowed to drive our vehicles of integrity and expression.

Find your peace and set your boundaries! Know the signs of the Dark Triad and don’t choose to play the game.

If it doesn’t fit your integrity, your person mission of freedom and doesn’t bring you happiness, ignore it, delete it or try to neutralise it.

Just know that neutrality is not recognised by the Dark Triad.

OFF-GRID LIFE MONTH ONE: Adaptation and Patience

We made it through the first four weeks off-grid and the experiences have been far more abundant than I could ever have expected. You see, I didn’t come into this lifestyle with a preconceived ideal or a rigid set of outcomes of what I believed things would be.

Honestly, do we ever really know the exact outcome or result of any experience? If you do, you are one who is accurately capable of predicting the future and I hope you have developed your gift to help others, and even yourself!

But for nearly every human on the planet, the truth is you can plan and plan, only to have the rug pulled out from under you in a split second. Beautiful outdoor weddings undone by bad weather, family vacations and travel thwarted by a global pandemic and spring cleaning postponed due to a family emergency.

Nothing is set in stone and no one knows the outcome.

That has been the reality of our first month, in that we have been able to identify the pattern that nothing has a timeline or a pattern and through patience, we adapt.

I awoke this morning to the twenty-seventh mountain-view sunrise full of accomplishment and gratitude within my soul. We have been here a full month, but the other wake-ups were to a thick, white and fluffy blanket of snow under the gray mountain sky and one beautiful, but fog-filled mountain valley.

But today, there is only the sound of silence and the roar of the river with her powerful waterfall just feet below the cabin. A waterfall of my very own not meant to share with any other except the animals taking a drinking nearby.

It’s still too early for the birds and is the time I prefer to reflect and gather my thoughts for the upcoming day and what potential it holds. However, it is also the time of looking back and holding gratitude for my encounters, my lessons and experiences.

What experiences have I had in just four small weeks? What things have I accomplished that I never imagined doing? What senses have I engaged that seemed to lay dormant under the of the polluted and overpopulated city?

It has been an overflowing cup of abundance in terms of the senses and experiences. From the construction of our first ever chicken-coop, to planting seeds and gardening, to being snowed in for a few days all the way down to basic chores and hygiene.

In these few weeks, I have witnessed the transformation of nature’s beauty from her sleepy winter state to the hearty unearthing of tender life just below the surface. In fact, i’ve witnessed both life and death of plant life as my own experimentation with my carefully transported garden plants resulted in a few dying in just one night’s hard freeze.

You see, where I am, no weather located can provide accurate temperatures and as part of my journey, I’ve discovered we are often 10-20 degrees cooler than our nearest weather pin.

My potato did not make it, even though every ounce of energy when into trying to keep her safe. From the bouncing around of the roads, to ensuring she had water and sunshine and even some first aid after my husband threw a blanket across the backseat of the truck, ripping her beautiful flowered stems completely off! Unless you are attune with plant life and energy, it may be difficult for you to relate.

However, the early blooms of my very first experience with Daffodils and Tulips, in spite of the heavy snow, brought renewed hope and a sense of respect for the land and its divine timing. Adapting and patience!

Before we departed from Texas

What did our ancestors do without the luxury of online purchases and pre-manufactured greenhouses?

They were very patient and respected the land.

Zone 5 blooms at 9,000 ft early April

So in all my lessons thus far, let’s not abandon the very reality of nature’s own bounty and understanding the natural life that grows and flows whether or not we as humans give it any credit. With the discovery of mugwort, yarrow, wild tart grape, nettle, mullein, burdock, wild rose (rose hips), choke cherry, wild dandelion, plums and so much more, the living earth provided for tummy aches, earaches, asthma, nosebleeds, wounds, allergies, antiseptic, digestion, vitamins, antioxidants and so much more!

Not to mention the benefits of things like beeswax, royal jelly, bee pollen and propolis, found on our first experience with bee hives, where the busy workers give us honey and pollinate our flowers for more growth and more abundance.

All things provide abundance in their own order and divine timing. Not in ours. I’m living from the land and learning how our ancestors did it without PayPal and Amazon; without Lowe’s or Walmart’s gardens center! They didn’t have bags of enriched soil or pretty pavers. They couldn’t rush out to purchase faux-fertilized plants full of toxic growth chemicals to help them get ‘bigger’ or produce ‘greater yields’. They used what they had, just as I am learning, and taking the knowledge from their mistakes.

I was able to start seeds in recycled pots in a shed alongside our blossoming baby chicks, cold weather produce such as cauliflower, Brussels, broccoli, endive, escarole, turnips, radicchio, celery and a host of herbs!

Into the ground, I was able to seed radishes, short carrots, spinach, lettuce, kale, beets and peas. And my new potatoes, I am patiently awaiting for their first breath of green, being patient as I find myself under the spell of envy and analysis paralysis of what others might say about them.

Let the planting begin!

Our small walkway garden

The primary mountain water source finally broke free from its slow-snow dormant state, which means not only a hot shower very soon (something I haven’t experienced in a month), but the natural gravity-driven irrigation system for our soon to be ‘big garden’, as it gave us the ‘green light’ to till and plant on the land.

During our month, there have been a host of required and non-essential accomplishments as well. We completed a stone flower bed for our greens, rock lined walkway leading to our humble abode and even rock balcony to alleviate some of the mud from the run-off and the snow melt, of which required the rocks to be individually extracted from the earth and carried down the mountain to our cabin.

We also completed our first ever chicken coop build and successfully transitioned our first batch of baby chicks into their new home.

The challenges of using reclaimed and old wood were something we could have never anticipated. No fancy laser level could have ever made this perfect! Not to mention, building on a mountain slope and trying to measure and level twisted, notched and warped boards.

I even scaled the structure and attached the metal sheeting to my own personal accomplishment, as my minor issue with heights was conquered!

Chicken-coop mid construction

Have you ever climbed a ladder on the side of a mountain where level and stability isn’t a reality?

We now have 19 babies, some are around 5 weeks and some 3 weeks, requiring our daily attention. Waking up and doing early morning checks, pulling them into the cabin if temperatures threaten and even socializing with them to connect and provide trust and security.

Coming inside for a cooler night

The delays and adaptations dictated by nature, materials and the construction projects all revealed that I HAVE NO TIMELINE or schedule! It taught me to patient.

I’m not on the clock 9-5! I’m on the clock 24-7. With certain elemental experiences telling me when to sit and when to work.

This week, we will actually begin our greenhouse build.

A 40 foot structure constructed of 2x4s, trees, cinderblocks and greenhouse grade sheeting that will be constructed by a team of two. A structure that has to withstand constant heavy winds and snow! We aren’t living in the flatlands or in a farming area, but again, on the side of a mountain slope in zone 5, full of ponderosa pines, spruce, rocks and of course, rich blue skies!

Our terrain and view

No paid help or contractors. Just us two and our ‘mad’ skills; skills of experimentation and adjustment!

You know, that being said, we have found that even the ‘so-called’ experts of advice have zero part in our own discovery. Well, maybe a tiny lesson here and there about a natural workaround, but that’s it.

We have found that it’s a piece by piece experience of ‘what next’, versus someone who ‘successfully constructed’ a similar structure telling you what to do next!

The truth is that no one really knows and it’s all about their journey. All of the irrelevant advice and input, its aplenty if you let it be!

Their manure is an excellent fertilization for LIFE…so we let others expel their opinions, two-cents and beliefs without any interest or even the rewards of responding. It’s their advice and their journey. We have ours.

From a personal vantage point, the first month has been a bit of an adjustment. Being in total silence 99% of the time is not what many folks believe it to be. NOR is it what I had believed it would be either.

I absolutely love not having a TV, a radio or hearing any sound at all except for my running river and the roar of the waterfall!

My husband and I don’t have much to talk about anymore. Not so much out of boredom with one another, but out of peace because our experiences are all about living in the moment. When we talk, it’s about the NOW or the view or the discovery.

There are times when he may be on a rant about how other folks are living their lives or where I me be trying to be playful with him when he’s needing focus or he’s in his head. But these are far less now that we aren’t discussing the ignorance of the customers who called that day or the computer delays and the reboots and the emails!

We just work side by side without words most of the time, except ‘hand me the drill and the screws’! Sometimes, we work solo on different projects. We just absorb the light, the sun and the gratitude of being in one another’s presence either physically or on the same land.

This was challenging at first because I love conversation. I’ve always been able to talk to my son or others in my life that I spent time with. I didn’t realize that one on one solitude would be so, well, Silent! There is a part of me who fantasizes about him asking me my input and genuinely listening, or sitting in bed every morning discussing all the things we are grateful for or even being playful as we work side by side! There is a part of me deep within that wants him to say ‘you aren’t walking that far alone out here’, to be my protector or to say ‘let’s get you a guard dog who is loyal to you’.

BUT….those are my own fleeting expectations and there is literally nothing to discuss. I guess not everything requires words. This is taking major adjustment for me in all honesty, but I am so grateful for the silence and the deeper connection to my husband that we didn’t have before.

Greater intimacy, more organic connections, deeper respect and an unconditional love and appreciation for the whole of him, his skills, his energy and his mind! Of course, he’s still my eye candy and I get more of that all to myself!

I see sooo many people complain about their spouses, bitching about their wives or husbands not being ‘on board’ with the off-grid life or not helpful or in alignment with off-gridding, and I think WOW, you chose them! What does that say about YOU?

Did you not know he was an angry person before you moved off grid? Did you not know she spent hours online each week shopping or at the salon? Did you not know they drank too much or had addictions and attachments to princess lifestyles, family/friends, materialism and intoxicants? I just don’t get this! But my journey is not theirs!

Being alone has taught me much about myself and how to overcome and heal. I’m so grateful for my spouse, my beloved, and his love of not talking because it has shown me that people really do waste too much time talking about unimportant things, gossip, negative crap, worries and such.

Talking is overrated for sure and it seems like a distraction from the beauty of deep connection and teamwork. As a side note, we have some extemporaneous human interaction weekly so that helps me as a woman and an individual who enjoys a deep and loving reciprocal conversation!

I’m beginning to see why this lifestyle should be implemented as a mandatory part of premarital counseling! Even for 3 months!

You get to see the RAW, ORGANIC reality of your CHOICE!

Pissing in the woods or on a bucket. The intestinal distress from eating too much cabbage or oatmeal! Not washing your hair for DAYS! Walking around naked, cleaning your ass from a bowl in the sink just inches from one another. Experiencing your menstruation cycle in a one room cabin!

No fake props or ideals there! No fake nails, fake hair or pretty smelling perfume to hide the fact that we all look the EXACT same sitting on a ‘Home Depot’ plastic bucket lined with plumber’s foam taking a dump!

And finally, the daily experiences are so vast that one can genuinely NOT develop a schedule in terms of rigidity.

We had ‘plans’ for Friday that were thwarted by the discovery that a local entitled old man who doesn’t even have land up here cut our fence because this state has open grazing laws. You cannot shoot livestock on your land, nor can you do anything to the person who put them on your land!

In other words, if joe cuts your fence and puts his cows on your property to graze, YOU are responsible for mending your own fence and removing the cattle from your property without harm. On 30 acres of mountain terrain, you won’t know it if you don’t walk the perimeter regularly!

An impromptu walk with our dog and another couple led to the discovery and the subsequent mending of the fence…a few additional hours of unforeseen labor.

Other things like weather, wild animals, resources, energy and even interrupted sleep can certainly get in the way of any plans. In fact, weather is the number one deciding factor in everything we’ve experienced thus far, specifically the extreme wind!

Have you ever cut and laid a tin roof in 60 mph gusts with just two people?We did and it requires the utmost safety and focus! People may offer advice and say ‘bake your own’ or ‘build a mud room’ or ‘take it to your local xyz and have it tested’ but they are ignorant to our unique situation and environment. Many of them pretend to be experts from their city life watching YouTube off-gridders or trying to insert their experience as a kid 60 years ago into our current life. I silently eye-roll and move on.

I’ve learned to take every single day as a present moment. To fully immerse myself into the existence of the current versus worrying about timelines and the what ifs.

I live for my morning coffee at sunrise, and the entire process of boiling water, pressing my one cup and sitting in total reflection. I am drawn to a full spectrum tears as I walk the perimeter and capture views of the landscape that NO ONE ELSE can see! I am greeted lovingly by our horses, our chickens and dogs, making the deepest most authentic connections that cannot be replicated in human to human contact.

I sat with the horse yesterday barefoot and petting her for half an hour non-stop! Talking and connecting and loving her in all of her organic beauty.


It may be chilly outside, but I walk barefoot and feel the earth between my toes. I sink my hands into the soil. I have splinters, bruises, burns and scratches from my authentic labor. Sometimes my body says NOT THIS HILL AGAIN, and sometimes it says BRING IT BITCHES!

I may feel lonely or alone some days, with the sense that I don’t want to do anything. I may want a hot shower instead of bowl bath on a cold cabin floor. I may wish my husband was wanting to chitchat with me or be more affectionate at times. But these are fleeting and I quickly immerse myself into the moment.

But after one full month in this raw, uncomplicated, yet laborious environment, I don’t understand how people EVER go back to the loud and superfluous, pedantic world that exists below us!

Each day is one step deeper into this beautiful experience….one simple moment at a time.

Relaxing with my beloved

No Drama DIY Health and Beauty: Anti-Aging Lip Balm

Want to create your own lip balm for chapped lips at approximately 1/50th of the cost? Here’s how I did it.

Recently, we moved from below sea level near the coastal plains of Texas all the way up to the piney mountains of New Mexico. This is when I realised immediately just how dry the air at 9,000ft elevation could be.

My nose bled, my hands and feet felt dehydrated, my rings slid off, my throat was dry and scratchy and I was always thirsty! And yes, my lips started to feel dry, flaky and burned.

I was suffering from chapped lips!

One of the reasons we moved to the mountains of New Mexico was to get away from the humidity and heat of Texas, but it was also to become more self-sustaining. This meant being able to make our own foods, products and remedies when possible. Not to mention, it’s a 30 minute jaunt down the mountain to the nearest dollar store and approximately 90 minutes to the nearest retail and grocery store.

I had an old tube of sunscreen for lips manufactured by a popular sunscreen company, but it burned like wildfire on my dried lips, not to mention the ingredients weren’t necessarily optimal. Moreover, after doing some research on the ingredients, I found that the disintegration of some of the ingredients actually caused adverse health effects and were also toxic to the environment!

Did I mention the tube was old?

I also had two ‘nearly’ empty tubes of natural lip balm that I had been scraping clean using my finger nails and a jar of organic coconut oil that I obsessively stuck my hand in, slathering it on my lips. Unfortunately, the coconut oil absorbed too quickly.

I needed something ASAP!!!

So…one quick google search on DIY lip balm for dry lips and BAM, I found a recipe that consisted of a handful of natural ingredients, all of which I had on hand. It was time to give this a try!

I excitedly emptied and cleaned out the 3 tubes I had on hand, collected the ingredients and got down to it. Oh, and I happily extracted the toxic plug of chemicals from the tube of death for certain!!! I probably should have thrown it away, but I wasn’t sure how many tubes I could make.

Now, let me preface this by saying I don’t have a magazine ready kitchen counter, fancy boutique equipment or a camera crew to film some perfectly manicured media princess putting my craft together. You get what you get from this newly labeled ‘au natural’ mountain home momma!

The recipe I found seemed as though it would be too much for the tubes I had on hand, so I ‘eyeballed’ a reduction of ingredients and roughly quartered-ish the batch.

*Note: I probably didn’t do the best math, but next time, I’ll be more precise.


1 (plus a tad) TBSP Organic Unrefined Coconut Oil

1 (plus a tad) tsp Beeswax

1/4 tsp raw unfiltered honey straight from the hive on site

1 tsp almond oil (carrier for my essentials)

10 drops clary sage and 8 drops of 20% diluted frankincense oils (recipe calls for lavender)

I also did a little extra research on essential oils for dry and older skin (I’m 50!!!), and found Clary Sage and Frankincense to top the list of lip skin essentials. I had them on hand, so why not!

The results?

Cooling off!

Three tubes of anti-aging lip balm for about .30 (.10 a tube) compared to the $15-20 to replace them at local store prices!

All natural and just 5 ingredients that I can feel safe about touching my lips and NOT causing adverse health issues. The only downside is they weren’t as STIFF as store bought, but I believe with a little extra practice and more attention to the measurements, I will be even more successful.

After an hour of the balm on my lips?

Smooth and hydrated! No more chapped lips and a major savings in cost, not to mention the savings of time and gas not having to trek down the mountain.