BREAKING TRADITION: Thanksgiving adventures 2017 DAY 1

For many, breaking tradition seems an impossible chore.  Fears of judgment, missed interactions and resentment often surface at the thought.  Good or bad, tradition is the direct connection to our past.

Meet two strong-minded individuals, both in a state of metamorphosis.  Our stories of adventure and success will be a reminder to all:

     The past is where we once lived; the future is full of excitement, newness and  anticipation; the present is the GREATEST MOMENT OF OUR LIVES.

We, together, are working on releasing our attachments to the past, including the negative emotions and behaviors associated, simply by living life in the present.  Our incredible journey begins NOW:  Thanksgiving 2017.

Day 1:  It isn’t the destination, but rather the journey.

The decision to depart the realm of tradition required zero negotiations.  In fact, there was only one struggle….WHERE do we GO?  Undecided, we committed to renting a compact SUV and made some basic decisions as far as what we were taking.  Tent, sleeping bags, folding chairs and clothing.  Next stop, New Mexico.

The journey from Victoria, TX to a non-disclosed location in New Mexico wasn’t as long or arduous as the masses proclaim. In fact, it was here where both me (the Viking) and the Apache found a significant universal validation.  We initially trekked from our starting point to Austin, TX and made a final decision to “turn left”…..right would have been onto our other option, Arkansas.  New Mexico, here we come. Next stop…Roswell.

San Angelo, Lamesa, Brownfield and Roswell all served as smaller centers for our initial destination. However, it was the day prior to Thanksgiving and the potential for road clutter and congestion was high.  The energy of society was buzzing.  Our first real stop of the day was in Lampasas, where we opted for a local country-style café for lunch:

Country Kitchen and Bakery

The food was amazing!  Home cooking at its finest.  From the “old white lady” enchiladas (the BEST) right down to the coconut cream pie and its flaky crust.  For five decades, I have pretty much fine-tuned my dislike for any dressing that accompanies a thanksgiving turkey….until NOW.  The ONLY dressing I have ever eaten without wanting to expel it.  Everything we consumed was created by love and recipes of the past, all for under $30!

As we paid to exit, the sugar-free Apache performed the most rare of feats…he ordered a fruit filled pastry for the road.  Fat, dumb and happy, we are on our way.

From the passenger vantage point, the terrain became quite desolate.  There were a few moments of initial emotional connectivity with my childhood as we drove through small towns where children were picking up pecans along the roadside or communities that resembled the brick and mortar structures I remembered growing up.  In fact, there was one place in particular where I became so emotionally overridden by tears of beautiful memories of my childhood that I simply sat in silence and allowed it all to absorb into my present.

The scenery began stretching on to eternity with its lack of greenery and full of dusty fields and flatlands that seemed almost uninhabitable to me.  As far as the eye could see, there were alien-like windmills lined up like soldiers ready to march.  Occasionally, a few would be electronically spinning, harvesting energy to feed into the grid.

Through this flattened transition, tumbleweeds became a reality.  Tightly clustered into groups and pressed against structures and fence lines, as if truckloads of these barren orbs had been dumped along the way.  Here and there, tumbleweeds larger than basketballs, more like giant beach balls and perfect in circular conformity sat nested in the roadway median, awaiting the next gust of wind.  Standing tall above these desolate and arid structures on canvas stood alien-like windmills to be seen as far as the sight could travel, dominating the once flattened fields of white cotton and dirt.

The power of the descending sun began to shine upon us, bathing us in something very different.  Something beautiful was about to arrive.

As the sun truly set on our day, it was in this moment that both of us realized the magnitude of its power and energy.  All paintings and poetry began to culminate in our mental registry as “The Longest Sunset” gave rise to the unanswerable question:

How can we all live under the same sky, and yet experiencing the normal suddenly becomes NEW; unique; beautiful?

Was it simply perspective or a deeper calling to understand nature?

The oceanic turquoise, pastel blues and deep azul progressions served as the endless canvas against the backdrop of the native earthy landscape.  Seemingly accidental paint strokes kissed the canvas without intention, landing colors of electric pink, bright white and neon salmon along the canvas with a harsh and powerful contrast.  To the human eye, this made no logical sense and yet appeared so normal for the native earth.

Intense! Contrast! Surreal! Polarity!

As the globe of fire began to retreat behind the eternally distant horizon, the sky did not darken, but rather lit up brightly.  It became a canvas of color blending so expertly accomplished that one might believe themselves in a state of lucid dreaming.  It invited nothing but AWE and meditative thoughts.

As it continued its descent, it slowly pulled with it the colorful curtain of tangerines, salmons, lemons and burgundy strips down, like a comforter slowly being pulled from the bed.  The colors manifested as it made its way deep into the ocean, creating a powerful and fiery energy engulfing the day in a sea of deep electric blue.

White waves began to break across the eternal depths of night, with ripples of gray floating along the perimeter of the cordoned horizon.

Contrast….the word that kept surfacing.

The contrasts of deep turquoise, bright white, electric pink, salmon, tangerine, rust, pale blue, vibrant orange and fire red generated a vision of constant movement and hypnotizing stillness and attention, dominating all other structures and formations.  Trees, windmills, buildings and hills became two-dimensional blackened silhouettes against the three-dimensional backdrop of vibrancy.

Maybe an hour; maybe two.  This awe-inspiring opportunity served as the catalyst for adventure, beauty, contrast and the pieces of something much greater within us.

It was here for both the Apache and the Viking that our day ended and our journey began.

 

Divine Power: we are in need of a universal womb clearing

As women, we experience the world through a different perspective.  We are the maidens, the mothers, the crones.  In spite of our vast experiences and environmental inundations, we are connected as free children, as sensual beings and as wisdom embodied.

We have been led astray, lifetime after lifetime, guided far away from the celebrated roots of our matriarchal existence.

What has happened to us as a powerful gathering, bringing forth to our sisters advice and knowledge?  What has become of the pearls of wisdom worn proudly around our collars, our wrists, our ankles and our waists as we run barefoot in the grass, hands held high to the celestial gifts of the heavens?

Why?

We have slipped through the graceful fingers of our heritage, our roots, only to be overpowered by primal responses and expectations!

We suffer deeply from trauma, the kind of trauma that destroys humanity and kindness.  The kind of trauma that leaves us perpetually searching for acceptance and love.  We have turned off the lights and closed the doors, somehow accepting this as off limits or forbidden.

The womb of our universe is traumatized and we all owe her a deep apology.  Not for what we as individuals have done to her, but for what we as a matrix of energy have done to her.  We violate her and dominate her with anger, rage, control, abuse, division, entitlement, intolerance and hate.  We cast judgment upon those who do not meet up with our expected behaviors.  We victimize ourselves, succumbing to the judgments of the self and of others.

This is not about horrific events within the parameters of our news feeds and walls.

NO!  This is about creative flow and voice, spoken from the beautiful notes of our hearts.  This is about sensuality as an individual. The love of self.  The embrace of self in that WE ARE EXACTLY ENOUGH RIGHT NOW IN THIS VERY MOMENT!  No change required.  No modification necessary.  No alterations needed.  And yet, here we are, searching for “approval” from others in our works, our beliefs and our individual truths.

We ask for others to opine:

What do you think of my art, by business, my career choice?

Should I engage in this business endeavor?

How do I help this person?

Where do you want to eat or go?

What should I do?

And then we are devastated, heartbroken, judged and sometimes downright volatile, combative, passive aggressive and angry when the opinion is doled out…even if it is spoken in KINDNESS and with 100% truth of themselves.

As a unified matriarchal existence, we have exiled the creativity, the sexuality, the sensuality, the freedom of thought, belief and expression.  We cast it aside when we drew lines in the sand of what a young girl or woman or mother or wife SHOULD be.

We all have at some point or actively participate in the gang rape of the DIVINE MOTHER!

If not directly, through the acceptance and perpetuation of this horrible act via silence and the feeding frenzies of victimization, hopelessness, fear and unsafe existences.

Life happens!  There have been devastating natural disasters past and there will be many more to come….all when we least expect them.  There have been mass murders and genocides of past, eradicating innocent people because of their skin color (Hiroshima/Nagasaki, Pearl Harbor, Titanic, Holocaust, up to hundreds of millions of Native Americans killed by Europeans/Spaniards/Americans/Christians) or due to being distressed over taxes, finances, job promotions, government decisions, bullying or other reasons.

This is because people are victims, or bullies, or need power and control, dominance and some sense assimilation through “my way or else” tactics.

Its not a matter of IF, but a matter of when.

And yet, we still sit in despondency and despair, trying to understand WHY? WHY? WHY? Why did this happen to such innocent individuals? What made him/her/them do it? How could he do this? How could she do this?  So many questions and energy directed at the negativity, when the waters of positive clearing energy run freely only inches away!

We as women must embrace our matriarchal roots!  We must stop hiding from our voices.  We must stop accepting maltreatment, physical abuse, sexual abuse, rape, gender bias and expectations.  We must STAND UP, not in hate, but rather in LOVE and provide an energy field that enables women to come forward and speak up BEFORE trauma happens. Before the nightmare occurs.

There are millions of beautiful natural women taking care of themselves who are sexualized by society and its MEDIA EMBRACED EXPECTATIONS of beauty.  What it means to be a woman in the eyes of society changes every 2-3 years!  How can we begin to keep up with beauty? And even then, WHO ARE WE TRYING TO PLEASE?????  The judgment of others.

It has become generally accepted that sexual control of women is the norm.

That a woman who is abused by a man and speaks up was somehow asking for it or is exaggerating her story.

That a man (and any women) who makes jokes and is a purveyor of degradation, objectification and sexualization of women is somehow expressing their “freedom” or “beliefs” or “opinions”.  I cannot say enough how many times I hear men and women say “he’s just being a guy” or “that is what guys do” or “I am guy”.

That a woman who is raped or physically struck must bear the burden and relocate, find a judge who is compassionate, run, live in fear or worse, she must first die to be heard.

I call bs on those lines!  They are simply excuses that enable society to continue with these acts.

Is it any wonder why men who molest, rape and sexually assault children, even exploiting and selling them on the internet for financial gain, are forgiven of their crimes or handed light punishments or fines while those who commit even small crimes against the government are locked away indefinitely and indiscriminately?

The patriarch is a necessity in humanity.  It is our balance. Our homeostasis.  However, the universe is currently OUT OF WHACK, with control, hate, sexualization, dominance and “fuck it or fight it” mentalities.

He is no longer a protector or provider, but rather, an abuser and a rapist whom we must return to his rightful place, in harmony with his feminine energy.  The patriarchal dominance will to abuse the divine feminine, the womb of our universe, until WE as a collective energy power, put a stop to it!

Oh, so many women will rise up with a sword and scream “hell yea”….but this is not how it is done.

NO!

This is not to say we are not strong enough to fight with sword and shield.  I am Viking and I am fully aware and confident of my physical power and abilities.  However, I am a grounded woman whose womb has been cleared of the sexual trauma of my childhood.  I understand that deep within my own womb, I hold space for creativity and sensuality and a healthy abundance of emotions.  I understand that from my heart, I embrace even the most caustic of opinions from those I love unconditionally.  I practice SELF CONTROL and empowerment to make change within my own parameters, my own path, instead of engaging in a battle of opinionated conflict on others.

Even when I have spoken my opinion, I am quickly struck by the bullets of anger and rage, fists of judgment, condemnation, name calling and even hacker attempts at bringing harm to me and my family.

OH, so many will stand in awe and proclaim how “terrible” or “what kind of person would…”, but the reality is it is ALL of us do it, daily.  Whether a comment here, a thought here, a negative word here or a cultural engagement here.  We embrace, accept, acquiesce, silence, follow expectations and participate in the brutal raping of our own breath of life…..our FEMININE UNIVERSE.

We owe her a deep apology! (this apology brought tears to my eyes, in that it holds such truth and wisdom of a patriarch warrior)

The womb clearing ritual is very powerful (I discovered it as I read one of the most powerful books of divine transformation) as we clear a positive space to bring forth the trauma and wash the womb’s space delicately and purposefully.  We envision a light, a flower, a beautiful room of billowy vibrant orange clouds and rose scents!  We bring life and power back to the womb by searching and meditating into all spaces of the womb, searching for devastation and darkness, pain and suffering and then holding them in love and kindness so that we can wash them away.

Pouring out the old negative water and cleansing the bowl with a candle and a prayer, then filling the spaces with the beautiful flowers given to us by the divine, petals of roses and peonies, sunflowers and daisies, passion flowers and moon flowers serves to cleanse the womb of our divine goddess mother who gives to us.

We can clear out the old traumatic energies of the womb by working as a collective divine feminine energy to remove the trauma and support one another in our quest to bring back our feminine!

We will then, and only then, find flow, kindness, nurturing relationships, sensuality, creativity and the beauty of sexuality as it is intended!

 

 

How to Release Baggage

We are all baggage handlers!

Like a bellhop unloading luggage from atop an old station wagon, each and every one of us has learned in some capacity to carry the heavy loads handed down.  Some items, we understand their weight, but others, we become unknowingly burdened the moment we say “yes, I am ready”.

Humans sign many different contracts at the moment of conception, and because they are not capable of holding the quill to sign these contracts themselves, family karma steps in as the legal guardian.

From the moment we are born, we are bound by contractual guidelines defining the who, what, when, where and why of our existence.  We accept these terms and conditions, under the guise of tradition and family.  We are fearful to stand up for ourselves or speak from a different perspective so as not to upset the family.  We act because it is what we have learned.  We speak, or remain silent, because it is the rule of our existence.  We become far from authentic individuals  and begin to absorb the belief systems, dogma and behaviors of our family, our relationships and our experiences.

Baggage comes in all forms, shapes, colors, styles and even with a variety of compartments.  There is no “one size fits all” piece of luggage for everyone.

What is most important to understand about baggage is that:

Baggage is not our own, but rather any behaviors, experiences and emotions handed down from circumstances and individuals of our PAST, including parents, grandparents, caregivers, and anyone who was responsible for our existence as it is TODAY.  

The moment we become aware of this, we become responsible for the baggage and what we choose to do with it.

OWNERSHIP?

This is not to say that we are responsible and should be held accountable for horrible things that were done by members of your family!  Quite the contrary.  Responsibility means that as an individual, we have the ability to….get this….CHANGE and ALTER the path of what is deemed as negative baggage.

Oh, yes!  We possess this very power.

Before I move forward with the two simple steps to completing this powerful act, I must first rewind and share with you the societal definition of baggage and how it impacts everything moving forward.

Baggage is seen as a negative by today’s definition.  It is a term used to describe the state of emotion when someone has been dealt seemingly challenging cards in their life such as divorce, addiction, the loss of a child or loved one, financial struggles, physical trauma such as rape or a horrific accident.

It is held equivalent to a brick holding someone down or preventing them from somehow being “worthy” of a person.

I have witnessed my own family members telling their loved ones  a person has “TOO MUCH” baggage, when they describe where a person has come to a specific point in life, as if that person who endured a traumatic event or went through a divorce somehow is less worthy of love and affection.

My own brother in law describes his self choice perpetual singledom as a certain type of freedom from the baggage carried forth by women of his age.  He prefers the solace of a strip club and bringing home transient young girls who he meets on the street to the possibility of having to “ENDURE” the baggage that comes with a real relationship.

I’m not saying this is wrong, nor am I saying it is right.

I’m simply highlighting the negative association with the term “baggage” and how its use can actually create a negative spiderweb of future associations.

All humans who are mentally capable of giving love are absolutely deserving of a chance to heal themselves from baggage and family karma.

Once we become aware that we are indeed responsible for the baggage of our parental choices, our grandparent’s poor behaviors and our ancestral experiences, then WE POSSESS THE POWER TO CHANGE IT.

By an interpretive definition, responsibility means that “I possess the ability to change something”. It means that once I possess knowledge of an act, key information or a discovery, I now own part of it and have the ability to change its impact.  In order to change that of which I am now aware, I must learn to let it go.  I must learn to forgive.  I must learn to release blame.  This sounds so simple when written on paper.

After suffering a childhood of sexual trauma, how does one simply ACCEPT this?  Oddly enough, I was able to look at the woman I am today and show gratitude for how this traumatic experience provided the nutrients for my growth.  I forgave the man who brought me temporary emotional and physical harm.  He is no longer a cancer within my soul.  I cannot say the same for the others he harmed.  I no longer cry or suffer or feel bad inside for what he did.  I know IT is still there, but only in the sense that IT is part of the whole me; the perfect me.  I don’t point the finger at anyone for allowing it to happen.  I don’t blame his mother for hiding what he did.  Its a story now.  Part of my history, and as I tell this story I realize that I can begin…..

MOVING FORWARD, which is the second part of healing family karma and baggage.

Moving forward does not mean forget all that has happened.  It means that I now possess total control over me and I will no longer tolerate nor will I accept those behaviors I do not want in my life from this day forward.  Their response from that point is on them.  It no longer has anything to do with me.  My boundary.

I can now speak from a space of kindness when I am placed in the proximity of this individual.  I can say “I appreciate the hospitality, but I am going to head out.  Thank you” when I am with family and he enters my space.  If anyone gets offended, that is their problem.  If anyone gossips or speaks out against my decisions, that is their problem.

Within our own spaces, we can look around and pay special attention to what baggage has been carried down, generationally.  Are you a drunk just like your mother?  Do you enable criminal behaviors of your own children because your great grand parents did so of theirs?  Do you look around and see that each of your family members is morbidly obese and rampant with health conditions?  Is their significant dysfunction within your own family?  Do you yourself possess certain behaviors that are causing conflict in your own life, such as relationship hopping, lack of commitment or criminal activity?

Next, we must begin to show ourselves GRATITUDE for who we are right now, in this very moment and extend gratitude to our entire ancestral line, including our parents, because this is how they modeled us to be.

Writing down a list of ten items we appreciate about each of our family members and caregivers who had a direct hand in our upbringing will help us identify the positives in our lives.  Then, writing down a list of five things about those same family members and caregivers that we would like to let go, even if these are unconscious beliefs.

Finally, sink your feet deep into the earth and move forward with those things that bring YOU joy.

BAGGAGE connects each and every one of us.  No one is free from baggage, however, each of us possess the power to set ourselves free from baggage.

We are all the vessels holding the ancestral love of millions.