Love is an often abused term that humanity uses to gain access to things. It’s a word of shame, guilt and even manipulation. It’s a word of expectation and outcome, fairy tales too!
Cinderella and Snow White were saved by their Prince of ‘love’. Saved from the horrible abuse they had been sentenced to because of their birth and their existence
She was saved by her own SELF-LOVE, SELF-RESPECT and the SLAYING of her own demons to pull herself out of her own suffering, listening to her intuition.
Sure, it was the consort, Babba Yaga, who helped her see the magic was inside her all along but the hard, even impossible work Vasalisa performed in order to receive her gift of fire?
It became HER own actions that saved her from the ‘EVIL’ stepmother….slaying her and her evil step sisters herself!
Her unconditional LOVE for all things drove her fearlessness that allowed her to end her suffering! Quite the opposite of the story of a weak and helpless damsel being saved by her wealthy prince!
The so-called evil witch was the shadow, requiring love. Her doll was her intuition, providing loving guidance. Her coal for the fire was her own power to destroy the abusive family, not through hate or playing victim, but though her own love for herself.
I like her story better!
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is the primary energy of our FOURTH, or HEART Chakra. This includes unconditional love for OURSELVES!
Within a fluid and open energy center of the heart, which is the CENTER chakra and it is the LINK between OURSELVES and the SPIRITUAL and SOUL ACCESS, there is an undeniable love for oneself and for others.
This love, however, is not something you see on TV in a romantic embrace or the big happy family sharing their professional photos with the world. It’s not a husband buying his wife a new house or new car or new boat. It’s not found in materialism or vanity whatsoever!
It’s the full expression of ourselves and the interconnected love for ALL things around us.
This doesn’t mean we are expected to bring the local meth head into our home for a meal. This doesn’t mean we must hug and befriend those who have harmed our wellbeing through abuse, betrayal or manipulation. This doesn’t mean we must LIKE others or even force ourselves to interact and be friends with others.
It means we respect there is an energy that flows from the heart through our own self and out into the world like a ripple from a single drop of water can create an entire waterfall!
Unconditional love is NOT a feeling.
It is simple a STATE of EXISTENCE.
We can choose empathy, or the ability to have respect for others (yes, all others), who are on their journey and allow them the space to tap into their own resources: intuition, power, bravery, courage in order to bring themselves to the next level!
When we can operate from unconditional love, we live in peace with OURSELVES and therefore, the world around us.
As with all things, the word LOVE has been TWISTED into a huggy, kissy, we are all besties and need to sit around a circle and sing songs of love and togetherness kind of energy.
It’s been contorted into RAINBOWS and FUCKING BUTTERFLIES. It’s been manipulated into phrases like
❤️ ‘YOU MUST NOT CARE if you don’t __________’ (ie…get a certain medical procedure, but a certain item or attend a certain meeting/event).
❤️’YOU NEVER do _________for me! You don’t love me!’
❤️’___________didn’t /doesn’t LOVE you or they wouldn’t treat you that way’
The reality is people can have romantic and fantasy emotions about their relationship and be totally SHUT OFF to real love.
Love is absolute respect….
You cannot love another in full unconditional expression until YOU LOVE YOURSELF the SAME. If you love yourself fully then loving your partner, your family, your community, your country and even your enemies comes EASY.
Love for self means making DIFFICULT decisions to unplug from people who target you directly.
It means setting boundaries that protect your own self. It means walking away from people who aren’t where you are YET (but respecting and sending love to them on their own unique journey to find their own tools to save themselves!).
The Heart Chakra and the Solar Plexus Chakra are so near one another, that one directly impacts the other.
The 3rd Chakra when jacked up GIVES of themselves, even to their own sacrifice! They pretend to be someone else and are so unhappy with who they are, they will ALTER their bodies, their dress and their behaviors to gain attention or recognition.
The 4th Chakra when jacked up will lack compassion, understanding for themselves, which can fuel the need to be someone else or be in service to others at the sacrifice of self.
A blocked heart chakra might lack empathy for others as well.
This doesn’t mean a person who sets boundaries and who speaks their truth is blocked, but when done with a reactive or low vibrational energy (ie…that person can just go fuck themselves), then it gives rise to issues with SELF LOVE and SELF RESPECT.
One of the biggest lies told to us as children is that we MUST SHARE with everyone, we MUST BE FRIENDS and LIKE everyone.
Literally, this is absolute bullshit.
I DO NOT have to like, be friends with, engage with (fake interaction is worse than none), accept/approve of ANYONE ELSE in ANY CAPACITY. Period.
I DO NOT have the right to be intentionally hurtful to, mean to, directly unkind to, speak ill of, tell them they are WRONG or even need to defend myself to them.
All expressions of a blocked or imbalanced heart.
Unconditional love does NOT REQUIRE ANYONE TO CHANGE in any capacity in order to receive it.
It just IS.
It is letting go of HURT, GRIEVANCES, SPOKEN WORDS, BEHAVIORS…FORGIVENESS to FREE us, and setting boundaries to RESPECT ourselves.
All people are deserving of this love.
Even your enemy!
The man who violently raped you. The mother who abandoned you. The spouse that betrayed you over and over and over. The dad who molested you. The healer who took advantage of you.
Even the evil greedy dark woman in the mountains is deserving of LOVE!
So today, look at HOW you treat yourself.
Do you respect your own time or do you constantly do for others?
Do you speak compassion towards yourself and your body?
Do you nourish your body with healthy choices and give it exercise?
Do you silence your tongue when you feel the need to ‘defend’ yourself or your position and simply remember that need to defend is YOUR issue, not theirs?
Do you set boundaries to prevent others from upsetting you, but do so not out of anger or negativity, but from a space of self-honor?
Unconditional Love for the Self in every way is the foundation for true love.
You cannot love yourself fully and bring disrespect, harm, imbalance or pain to yourself through words, thoughts or actions.
Focus on loving yourself first. The rest of the love will happen.