Do You Really Know Love?

Have you ever been faced with a situation where you FELT like you had to respond a certain way, or else someone would JUDGE you for NOT being loving enough or NOT showing the love as you SHOULD?

Maybe you heard ‘If YOU LOVED ME, you would do (fill in the blank).

OR

Maybe you felt OBLIGATED to act or behave, or even SILENCE your voice out of FEAR of LOSING someone’s LOVE or approval.

OR

Maybe you said YES to someone or something because you believed it was the right choice for someone you LOVED, only to sacrifice yourself and your HEART’S TRUTH by saying yes.

As children, we are taught early on to LOVE one another. We are taught to LOVE our neighbor. We are taught to LOVE our blood family, even if they harm us. We are taught to LOVE our partners with reckless abandonment, especially if they come from a ‘good family’ or have a ‘good job’ and can provide for you, even if they treat you with disrespect or worse.

We are brainwashed into a linear perspective of what LOVE means, what it looks like and the words, behaviors and actions that foster its existence.

The words I LOVE YOU are often spoken as a rehearsed and comfortable line of entanglement. People use it without thought OR feeling!

LOVE is like a nested, balled up fishing line. Its presence is upon the lips as we depart a gathering or used as a means of manipulation to hold another hostage in the entanglement. Love is often used as a source of manipulation, torture and suffering, present in relationships with sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists. Love is often absent in the relationship with self.

“I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH”, followed by criticism, or worse, punishment through action and excuses by drama is a tell-tale sign of the exact opposite of love.

Have you ever been around someone with whom you felt a deep connection, BUT they don’t have the same feelings towards you?

Have you ever, in desperation or hope, spoken the words I LOVE YOU to another out of vulnerability and courage, opening your heart to them, only to be met with the crushing response of ‘Oh, that’s nice! Thank you.’?

This response, as hurtful as it may have felt, validates the entanglement affiliated with LOVE.

One individual spoke their ‘NO’ of truth in the way they knew best. Even if it leaves the vulnerable one feeling disappointed, less than, not enough or worse, so desperate they will sacrifice their own joy just to maintain companionship…even if the companionship is toxic, abusive or worse…fatal, the false entanglement of LOVE can be blinding!

But, it’s the LOVE as we are taught; the entangled, heart-pounding, flower bringing, love-making and eventual “ownership” style love.

When we don’t receive it back or as we expect based on what we have learned, we think:

I must be FAULTY because this individual doesn’t LOVE me. I must be lacking because this person hasn’t SHOWN UP FULLY for me. I need to BE BETTER, DO BETTER, LOOK BETTER to deserve their LOVE!

Bullshit!

I call bullshit from the highest mountain tops!!! Even if we never experience the societal illusion of love, which most of us do in some capacity, we are enough right now!

LOVE, or how we are instructed or brainwashed TO LOVE, is quite distorted, really. We are domesticated by it.

As children to adolescents, we are taught that we should love everyone, to hug everyone as an acceptable display of love and to accept being teased and even hit or bullied (aka…picked on) as a type of love.

As teens to young adults, we are introduced to dating, sometimes disrespected, harassed or even worse treatment as a means of being loved. We may tolerate abuse because we fear being without the illusion of love. We may allow disrespect to our boundaries (if we’ve even learned boundaries) and our physical and emotional well-being because we’ve been brainwashed into believing it’s just what ‘THEY’ do and they don’t mean it.

As as a mature adult, we seem to be desperately chasing the FEELING of this illusional love, or what I call an addict’s HIGH. Yes, people become addicted to NEEDING constant validation, affirmations, likes and expected behaviors of illusional love. The need of being ENOUGH, WORTHY, ACCEPTED and PERFECT.

We will sacrifice our YES of TRUTH in order to receive the ever-elusive dangling carrot of HOPE…hope that we will be enough, that we are worthy of another’s love, that they NOW accept us and that we are the perfect match or companion.

This fake love expectation cycle actually serves more as a foundation for SELF-destruction, similar to watching an alcoholic destroy their well-being ONE SHOT OF TASTY FIREBALL at a time!

It causes us to ignore our INTUITION and to say YES to the allure of its validation, even when we know that “NO” is our TRUTH. This brainwashed version prevalent in the structure of the family and throughout society turns our confidence and TRUTH into a questionable mush of expectations fed by other people, by society and by those who PROFESS to LOVE us, but only if these variables are met.

….Just one more shot of a fake sense of LOVE is all I require to get me through this horrible day….one more hug….one more valentines card….one more new car/new home….one more intimate sexual engagement….

So then, what is TRUE LOVE?

If you could sit in silence for 10 minutes and focus on everything in your life of the past, present and even future, that brings you absolute joy, peace and contentment; that creates true gratefulness within your heart; that brings you to a state of tears based on a feeling of overwhelming happiness…you can find the feeling of LOVE.

For me, love resonates with the unconditional joy I felt as a young child spending time with my grandfather. His genuine heart and endless showering of expressions of love for me were abundant. How he showed me vitality, self-reliance, fun activity, exploration of the land, connection to animals and even a love for pleasurable foods. His smile and bright crystal blue eyes are all I need to open up a tidal wave of what LOVE feels like at any given moment. Even in despair or moments of self-doubt.

From there, I am able to draw in my gratefulness and abundance. The lives that my children are living, not with the expectations of what they should be doing (…good job on ‘x’), but with pure joy in allowing them to BE FREE from any expectations from ME as a parent telling them how they should invest, who they should marry, what educational level they should meet, when they should have kids or even saying they should visit me or call more!

Expectations are not LOVE.

I can be joyful over the beautiful fall leaves 🍁, the crystal blue sky (my grandfather’s eyes), the healing calm of the water, the unconditional loyalty of the goose and the gander, the ability to share my knowledge with others….the list of abundance and joy is never ending.

My heart is FULL of positive interactions and joyful moments that as I FEEL them in all of their energy, I am able to glow brightly like the Northern Star, sending waves of this FEELING out of my heart and into the WORLD. This is the impact TRUE LOVE has.

Not sex. No vanity. Not having a big rock. Not having a ‘beautiful’ family. Not anything seen on the outside!

How does it travel into the world?

LOVE permeates the lines of a system that is so similar to our neurological system, to discern the difference between what is within and what is outside of our body would be almost impossible. It is through this interwoven network of transmitters that LOVE flows, similar to a pulse or wave of energy, and moves into the network of OTHER beings of LIFE.

Animals. Trees. Fish. Grass. Roots. Wind. Water. Earth. Fire. Other humans. The planet.

The grass on which we stand is a catalyst for sending those feelings of joy out into the TREES and the mountains and the sky and the heavens. It is this network that allows us to SEND love to our ancestors in the heavens as well as our loved ones in other locations. It is this network that enables us to send healing and helping energy to those in need, no matter where they may be.

Some call it prayer, but it is energy of our OWN unconditional HEART COHERENCE transmitted with INTENTION!

The more we tap into this UNCONDITIONAL LOVEwork (love+network) with either general presence or a focused intention, the greater the healing of the PLANET at exactly where it is needed. needed.

On the shadow side of this network, those who are maligned with EVIL, self-serving, darkness, fear, worry, anger, resentment, righteousness, expectations, criticism, negativity, anxiety, addiction, sadness, victimization, gossip, judgment (you should be/do/say/act etc), revenge, manipulation and harmful acts to the emotional, mental or physical body of another will ALSO SEND THEIR ENERGY into this network, and the end result is illness, disease and destruction.

SIMPLE right?

So then, why do so many people CHOOSE the darkness? The drama? The suffering? The doomsday mentality that WHO CARES, ITS ALL ABOUT TO END? Why do they emit their entangled sense of faux-love; love without respect? Why do they abuse, dictate and create chaos within communities and around the globe?

Because they are either pure darkness and evil or are tethered and attached, even chained and imprisoned by UNhealed traumas, expectations of outcomes and internal suffering that you cannot see, and neither can they!

They either consciously KNOW they are transmitting HATE into or they have no understanding of this network, therefore continue to send poison into the grass with every step.

The grass continues to feed the soil the poison. The soil nourishes the roots of all plant and tree of life with the poison. The leaves breath out the oxygenated poison into the clouds and heavens, into the air for other humans and life to inhale. The bird takes in the poison and feeds it to her babies. The babies eliminate the poison into the soil and grow food of the poison that other animals and humans eat. The sky rains down the poison. We burn in our fires the poisoned wood of the trees, sending more poison into the heavens and clouds. The mountains absorb the poison and grow forests of toxicity which nourish the streams, rivers, oceans and fish with the poison.

DO YOU get it yet?

YOU, the soul cloaked in a veil of entanglement and selfishness, in all of your expectation, your hate, your disgust, your drama, your poor me, your worry, your fear, your anger, your division, your sense of obligation or your need to make others feel comfortable creating conflict within your own love circle….it is the the POISON that FUELS the toxic fire currently consuming the world.

But you, dear one, you are blind by this poison and cannot see the LIGHT and the LOVE that continues to burn, even as an ember, within your OWN chest! The space where FREEDOM exists.

When you think about something that is a HELL NO for you; a behavior or thing that you would say “NO” to 1,000,000 times OVER….what does that FEEL LIKE for you?

When you see a methed-out or drunk parent screaming at their innocent 3-year old in a store, dragging them by the hair, what does that feel like for you? Or witnessing an animal being put down by a trusted vet because the animal is ‘too much’ for the owner? Or maybe you walk into your home and witness your own friend or a family member raping your daughter?

HOW DOES THIS FEEL?

This is your NO of absolute. It’s your HELL NO! It’s your boundary of intolerance for YOU and YOUR SOUL. Get to know your NO with confidence.

Now, put thought to how you FELT that time you saw your own child born or maybe, like for me, the absolute love of my grandfather. Or think about a THING that is a TRUTH about you…that you KNOW 100% unwavering and non-conflicting or confusing, such as you KNOW you are strong of physical body or that you KNOW your eyes are of genuine green. This is your HELL YES. Your TRUTH!

Observe the way your mind and body react to both sides.

Maybe you feel a sickness in your stomach and would take a baseball to the skull of ANY who violated your daughter in any way! Or you might become enraged and have no comprehension of how you would react but you know you would fight ABSOLUTELY to save her! This feeling is a boundary to protect what you are called to protect.

It’s your feeing of NO in absolute form!

On the flip side, what feeling does your truth conjure up? Is it a sense of ‘silliness’ towards anyone who cannot see your eyes are green or for me, my hair is RED? I KNOW both of these to be unwavering TRUTHS about me and therefore, I defend them with absolute because they are not confusing. It could be the feeling you have of YES when your spouse asks if you will rub his back or the absolute that you would change the baby’s diaper or feed him when needed.

This is your feeling of YES in absolute form.

Not everyone’s absolute is the same. It cannot be and to impart your absolutes on another, this is expectation and judgment.

When faced with decisions, choices or requests, drop into your heart space, full of gratitude and love; joy and abundance…FEEL how the decision or choice resonates in your body.

If it’s an absolute, you know your answer! Your intuition has already spoken.

If you are feeling a sense of obligation, validation, a need to control (so common), sacrifice of yourself or your spouse, children or even beloved family within your circle, you know your answer as well.

Trust in yourself and what your heart tells you. Put your mind-response on the back burner. Set your chains of fear associated with the past and what has been done to you aside. The love energy of the planet is trying so hard to show you the way in spite of the anger, hate and division being piped into the network.

If it’s not a HELL YES, 100%, I AM JOYFUL in this decision, then make it a NO from the energy and space of LOVE found within your open heart…the LOVE for our own self and for our inner circle.

Wasting energy on the planet before you fully embrace yourself in abundance, joy and unconditional love for all you are from head to toe, inside and out, is like feeding the starving and leaving yourself without. You will eventually die from lack of food you sacrificed, and so will they, for there is no one left to help them. This is not a good deed, as the sacrifice of soul for another is not the mission of most. We are conditioned to believe through domestication and societal brainwashing that it is!

Love yourself. Live in your TRUE heart. Send your vibe into the world and allow the network to receive it. HEAL the planet.

Through our HELL YES, we can change the globe by the colorful interwoven connections of TRUE LOVE, starting with ourself and what we know to be truth.

One drop of water creates the ocean, therefore one vibration of love creates a healed planet.

Published by NikkiAlbertVasquez

Our passion is men's, women's and couple's wellness, from being strong and independent to conquering the roadblocks that hinder valuable goals. We are here for those who are READY for CHANGE, who are WILLING to make CHANGE and who are seeking support and guidance on their journey. As a couple, we have quickly grown into a powerful team, the Viking and the Apache, helping men and women discover their own strengths, heal themselves and bring light (knowledge) into the world. It is our mission to help others reclaim their power, integrity and truth so they can heal the world!

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