In September of 2018, my beloved made a random and brave decision. It was something he and I had touched upon as a couple over the past few years through discussion and a few ideas, but hadn’t really put any planning or deep thought into it.
You see, we wanted to let go of so many things we had been stuck with. Emotions, toxic pasts and a lot of clutter that was clogging our present ability to live life to its fullest. Both of us having evolved from abusive childhoods and destructive marriages that had left us with boxes FULL of metaphorical junk, we felt heavy as a unit and needed to release.
The PURGE
We had already managed to let go of certain people in our lives that were deemed deficient in reciprocity. So-called friends, acquaintances and family. Anyone who existed in our lives as a single shoe, drawing from US any level of imbalance. They were simply takers of our time, money, resources and energy as individuals and as a couple. They needed to go.
A side note on people….this seems to be the most DIFFICULT act for most due to the deeply rooted, almost subconscious ATTACHMENT humans have to other humans. I’m not talking about our need for social interaction, but more our need to attach to others because we are FEARFUL of what might happen if we bid them adieu from our existence!
Former gym companions; coaches; people we allowed into our home during our time of loneliness; people we thought were our friends but whom showed their disrespectful truth multiple times; people who we once KNEW; ex wives, ex husbands and ex girlfriends; lovers of the past and those who filled a temporary companionship as we found one another; family, including siblings and ex IN-LAWS (this was a big one); people from church; people from former jobs; people we met at pow-wows and festivals.
The shed was a bit more challenging for him, as I had already been on this path for several years, however as he began to truly see that those he had given himself to were nothing more then shallow parasites taking from him, this became easy! Those who held little or no respect for HIM, for ME or US as a couple had no value to our present or our future.
As part of our letting go of people, we began releasing lifestyle practices and events of our past. Letting go of ‘vacations’ and ‘spring break’. No longer purchasing tickets for ‘renn fest’ or ‘wine fest’. No more ‘crawfish boils’ or ‘mma parties’ or holiday gatherings. We completely did away away with annual festivals and events.
We shut down the need to compete in fitness events because it was on a calendar, even stopping supporting those individuals who did!
For me, this was the most challenging because of my attachment to the positive memories and neural connections developed during these experiences. However, this new shift taught me a LOT about living in the present moment instead of trying to recapture a moment, emotion or memory from a past experience. Once I shut off the energy leak to the PAST, I found a more abundantly fulfilling present.
We STOPPED all alcohol and alcohol-related events and gatherings. This by itself took care of ALOT of people-releasing! We no longer had to attend social gatherings that seemed to involve alcohol-influenced people. We also stopped attending alcohol sponsored events that encouraged drinking as a part of the the enjoyment. Graduations, wedding receptions, reunions, concerts, festivals and the likes were no longer part of our agenda and we learned to say NO quickly and easily.
In order to rewire our minds from the toxic and robotic lifestyle so prevalent in today’s society, we began spending more time in nature, hiking, biking and exploring the unknown. We focused on new experiences such as low-populated areas, non-alcohol sponsored events, good food, metaphysical stores and organic places.
Our lives dramatically shifted by doing this!
We had also begun exploring a minimalist lifestyle, shedding excess junk such as trinkets, awards and trophies from past experiences. We threw out collections linked to our past. We tossed clothing that we didn’t wear regularly, using the ‘ONE YEAR RULE’ as a litmus. We sold items that held monetary value and put the cash into a container labeled ‘OUR NEW LIFE’.
Each day, we threw away pieces of our past creating space for our present and our future.
The JUMP
After a resetting weekend mountain biking in Austin, Texas, my beloved looked over at me in the car and said ‘I called a realtor to come and look at the house…I am tired of it and all of the negative energy it holds; not to mention we are never there’. Without hesitation and without fear, I responded with 100% support.
We had no ‘back up’ home or living quarters. Just a mind full of ideas and options, possibilities and experiences. For most, this would have generated so much FEAR about the negative, but for us, it was like free-falling KNOWING you would land safely…just not knowing where.
The house sold within a week for exactly what we asked. We signed a contract and had 30 days to be out.
We had indeed jumped. At least that is what my hubby called it because of his metaphorical attachment to the act of JUMPING off a cliff or out of a tree. He is a jumper, as am I, although I take jumping a little differently. I climb, stand and pause. I watch a few others jump, and then I JUMP. Conversely, he looks, climbs and with full running force, jumps! It is from the heights of the cliff that one can gain perspective and determine the potential for themselves.
People talk A LOT about doing stuff or making change. They have a lot of LIP SERVICE going on about wanting to lighten the load, wanting to live life more fully, wanting to travel, wanting to get in touch with nature and the experience of freedom. However, these same people come with a ton of excuses as to why they cannot. Kids. Jobs. Family. Bills. Finances.
It’s all essentially BULLSHIT excuses expressed as a means of making themselves appear as something they are not. The seductive nature of vanity and status override truth and the illusion of living their best life begins to play, day in and day out.
There are those who talk about doing and then, there are those that DO!
We didn’t have anything lined up. We just knew we wanted to be FREE from the negativity and toxic energy that permeated that house from his past….abuse, alcoholism, a toxic marriage full of yelling and fighting, people who took from him and didn’t give back. Along with all of the chores, responsibilities, duplicate bills and the upkeep required but didn’t have time to do. He knew that it was his responsibility as my husband to provide me with a space that was US. A space for US. A space with positive energy.
We embarked upon a journey of minimalist lifestyle and WOW, has it been amazing!
Our ‘project’ has become our unique and creative art…Two Tribes Art. The Viking and the Apache. Every corner and crevice built our of creative energy.
For three months, went back to basics! It was almost like camping, but with a few amenities. Simple things like sleeping on a real mattress became GOLDEN! Laundry was a constant challenge. We would take weekend trips and stay in hotels just to enjoy clean laundry and a comfy night’s rest. We had to eat out every meal for nearly 3 months! Privacy became nonexistent. Not to mention spending 24 hours a day with one another, which I absolutely love but it did expose many deeply rooted attachments, expectations and triggers needing to heal.
The LITTLE things
After our plummet into the unknown and the return to basic comforts, we began absorbing the pleasure of the ‘little’ gems in life. Gratitude took on a whole new meaning.
The taste of our first oven baked piggies in a blanket from our new tiny oven.
The ability to wash dishes in a sink.
Sleeping in a private room without interruption.
Sleeping on a real mattress.
Washing clothes in our space…not at a laundromat.
Today, we installed an AC in our kitchen and bedroom and it is AMAZING!!!
We aren’t even close to being finished, but we now have a fully functional and comfortable tiny living space! A space that we both love being in together, as a couple and that has NO negative energies or outside influences associated; only GROWTH. A space that WE built from our minds, resources and hands.
We don’t know where we will be 5-years from now and honestly, we don’t care. In fact, as we lay in our newly built bed embracing the late Sunday morning energy, he said to me ‘I see myself repairing chicken coops to keep out the coyotes and wild dogs’…we don’t have chickens, yet.
If we need to JUMP, we will JUMP for we are unattached to the trivial expectations of society.
This is what FREEDOM means in terms of LIVING OUR LIVES.
I hope you find yours.
Two Tribes Primal Wellness for Men and Women 