New Moon in Cancer is all about our softer, kinder side and our intimate relationships.
The most important relationship that serves as a strong foundation for all other GREAT relationships is the one we have with ourselves!
I was reading an article the other day about the new moon energy and how to channel more focus and intimacy into our current romantic relationships. It spoke of implementing specific actions like taking a candle lit bath with your partner, having an intimate conversation date and even adding items to your bedroom space that lends a sense of comfort, softness and intimacy.
This is all fine and dandy…..if your relationship with yourself is strong. By the way, how is THAT romance going?
We are human, and therefore destined to stumble, trip and fall. We are destined to make poor choices, misspeak and act out of emotion. It’s whether or not we are able to dust ourselves off, give ourselves grace, forgive ourselves and get back up stronger than ever that serves as the TRUE reveal!
Sadly, we often get back up, but fault ourselves for falling in the first place or worse, we stay down and broken, giving others power and control over our moods, energies and life.
Just look at your most recent conflict with your spouse. What was it truly about? The house ‘never’ being clean, not ‘ever’ caring about your feelings, not listening, not being home enough, drinking or going out with friends too much, your roaming eye, your inappropriate behaviors, spending too much money, temper, jealousy, your relationship with your ex, cheating, not helping, money?
Relationships are a reflection of our current state of health and our relationship with ourselves. We may have moments of fun, entertainment, sex, family, financial support and togetherness with our partner as part of our interaction. However, there is a much deeper level of trigger, healing and growth that occurs in healthy relationships regardless of how many bouquets of flowers, daily texts or love letters you receive.
Don’t even get me started on love letters and their false identities!
When we are healthy in our relationship with ourselves, WE are a strong foundation to serve as a reflection of healing and growth for our partner. The opposite is true of our partners. Therefore, if they do not love themselves fully, we will often find the conflict surrounding the union much greater!
When two people collide in a state of self loathing and self destructive patterns, it’s safe to say they the potential for growth and strength will dissolve, especially without professional intervention.
To connect with yourself, you must fully love yourself for who you use to be at all stages, who you are right now today and all of the beautiful possibilities the universe holds for you in the future. Think about it….you aren’t guaranteed any one thing tomorrow morning, and honestly, you are just one decision away from the best or worst possible outcome!
You could decide your value is too great to remain stuck in an affectionless space and set your internal navigation system to another place to become who YOU desire to be. You might find that you are rigid and controlling because you lost so much of yourself in your past and decide to soften your heart, stop fighting and having to be right about everything or have perfect order. You might find your lack of energy, depression or unwillingness to talk about things has pushed your beloved away from wanting to be around you and maybe work longer hours and you choose to work on yourself and start holding space for their needs as well as your own. The possibilities are endless and the opportunities, just a thought and action away.
Your Intuition tells you what is best for you in your relationship with yourself. Your brain tries to rationalize it into segments of logic and process, sometimes contradicting what the soul desires and deserves to be happy. Your heart and intuition are always right.
Communication. Fun. Compassion. Unconditional Love. Sensuality. Creativity. Growth. Community.
These are all areas where we need to be balanced in the relationship with ourself. Each person, so uniquely and vastly different. When out of balance, our foundation is unstable. When unstable, we become depressed, anxious, angry, out of control, lonely, boring, addicted, silent, mean, stifled and judgmental.
We make poor choices, stop doing things that nourish our soul, engage in risky behaviours, stay in bed all day and just check the fuck out of life.
Once balanced, be begin to hold space for our unique quirks and talents. We begin to shine in our own unique way. We begin to explore our own sensuality, beauty and sexuality and let go of judgments handed down by others. We become creative and energetic. We know our value, our power and our control…from a space of love!
This new moon is the perfect time to align with the kinder, emotional side of loving ourselves. Taking a sensual candle lit bath with rose petals and music, dancing naked in our own sacred space to our favorite tribal sounds, booking a full body massage day, reading books on self love and forgiveness and healing, listening to guided meditations and self-hypnosis on being unconditionally loving and kind to yourself, healing wounds and clearing blockages in your chakra channels, whether from sexual traumas such as rape, cheating, sex slavery and child abuse, physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence, living with an addicted spouse or parent, being bullied as a child or teen or young adult or other traumas sitting deep inside locked in sealed safes clogging our natural flow.
Fall in love with yourself. Honor all parts of you….past, present and unknown future. Know your value and set that price so high that the richest person in the world could never buy you.
Love yourself fully so that you can love others fully.