What happens when we authentically do not like people? When we prefer solitude or very small circles as opposed to people, events and ‘trendy’ lifestyles? When we dislike idle chit chat about workouts, clothing, hair, nails, attire and gossip? When we wish the person in front in line would simply shut the EFF up?
Although we are often labeled in derogatory terms, the reality is we make up a significant portion of personalities. We are INTROverts!
As I stood in the grocery store line with my beloved, following a long day of energy vampires, people violating our boundaries and forced interactions, we were intent on getting home! We had managed to escape the gym early, averting post-workout conversations and we had the opportunity for some US time…plus, we were hungry.
There was an extremely obese woman in front of us with two Items. I nudged my beloved, who believed us to be in ‘express’ checkout, as I witnessed her leaning on the counter, full of drama, holding a checkbook.
His response? FML!!! Of course, the experience took from our time, but it also gave us a varying perspective of the WHY. Why did her long and drawn out interaction, full of drama and complaints bother us both, creating an irritation???
Because we are INTROverts!
I am an introvert. That means that I prefer minimal contract with people, if any, beyond my VERY small circle. I do NOT enjoy gatherings, events, weddings, birthday parties or celebrations of any type. I obviously do not enjoy lines and delays, especially for those with entitlement and victimized personalities (seriously…..we all have issues!). I appreciate greatly when we are NOT invited to things involving people. The more people, the more discomfort experienced, and that doesn’t change if the people are family and/or friends. In fact, it is the worst when it’s people who we know superficially because you ‘feel’ obligated to make an appearance when you don’t give an EFF!
I abhor small-talk and honestly, feel my ‘barbaric’ Viking ancestral energy emerge when people violate my space with talk about stupid TV (I don’t watch it!), sports, popularity, religion (unless of course it’s in line with my pagan roots), gossip, jokes (not to be confused with actual wit and humor), upcoming social gatherings or when they infiltrate my physical space or the physical space of my beloved!
You can bet when we depart their existence, we are both like….WTF! Especially when people touch us without our consent or try to engage us beyond our general attempts of filling the space with a wellness check such as ‘how do you feel’ or ‘how are you today’….we don’t really want an answer unless you are deep within our circle. It’s simply a professional expectation and courtesy, and is much better than awkward silence.
In general, contact with people beyond very small social interactions, makes me very uncomfortable. To recover from the discomfort, I require ‘down time’. I prefer deep conversations about parallel universes, metaphysics, meditative states, my spirit guides, astral projection, grounding through herbal gardening, talking to tree spirits, overcoming challenges, strong marriage connections and respecting boundaries of other’s relationships.
My beloved is also an introvert. He prefers even LESS contact with humans than I do, although he is much better at ‘faking’ a smile and faking genuine conversation with people than I am (he calls it ‘being on stage’ and his demeanor returns to authenticity the moment the audience leaves), since I tend to operate in functional mode a lot. Other than that, we both despise small talk, and prefer to just focus on truth for our brains!
My point here? Introversion is NOT a one-size fits all deserving of derogatory comments, labels and judgment. Seriously, if you love to ‘party’, go DO YOU! I have the right to NOT like it or even talk about it as much as you have the right to be you.
Lately, we have both focused on doing things that are more conducive to our natural GIFT of introversion. Both of us are taking a more connected stance towards each other and to nourishing our individual minds as well as our relationship. Looking deeply into the needs of each other and fully expressing new ways of communication, growth, understanding and co-existence. We CHOOSE us and desire US, therefore if it doesn’t feed or nourish US both individually and as a couple, it’s probably going to removed from the process of selection. This includes things, practices and people.
As INTROverts, people fail to understand our truth. Just a couple of months back, we reached out to a spiritual medium and energy healer, who was able to enlighten and validate the fact that we as a unit have a purpose of ONE to heal a part of this planet and the people on it! This doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with internal conflict or relationship conflict, but rather, we fully comprehend our purpose and work towards that goal.
We view one another as an extension of self, while understanding that all others are temporary manifestations on our unique journey here to either reflect something to US or for us to reflect something to THEM. They are all temporary bundles of energy encountered along our journey. When we uproot and depart this place and all of its inhabitants that we are both ready to leave fully behind, none of it will be part of our present! And we release the past.
As we step away from ‘societally approved’ interactions and become more aligned with our TRUE INTROverted selves, we are now face to face with the lies, manipulation and enabling that people use to SELF-INFLATE!
People are genuinely not for us!!!! Not because we hate people, for we don’t. But because we are in alignment with our introverted self and ways. We understand that people create conflict for us, beyond us providing a service to them or us listening to their ‘drama’ and realizing just how elevated we are from them.
I digress, but I am often called to the process of shedding. As an authentic introvert, it is easier to shed people from my life who do not serve me. My beloved struggled at first with this, finding a bookshelf full of social contracts which he never signed binding him to acting a ‘certain way’. When he realized that shedding people is absolutely ok, he was able to release obligatory attachments to people and simply put up boundaries to protect his kingdom.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful souls in our lives with whom we truly connect spiritually. These people light up our space when they arrive. But for the most part, people are simply manifestations of energy requiring some guidance in some aspect of their existence. They are here….and then gone.
INTROverts are not necessarily socially awkward or shy. They aren’t anti-social. They aren’t rude and their silence isn’t about them. They don’t have ‘resting bitch face’. They aren’t assholes. They DO listen to what you say, but not in the way you think. They DO notice both your words and your unspoken words. They DO learn from your wild social energy and constant need to talk about what is trending. They may share with you, but may also pull back when they realize that you aren’t their type or that you may have an agenda. INTROverts aren’t lying to you or being mean, but rather they are engaging in self-preservation techniques that allow them to socially engage, however, they require some serious downtime from you!
As a general rule, both of us just want to scream at the day’s end…..you people are fake, hypocrite liars, takers and cheats!
But that would make us outward assholes of society. So we are forced into ranting in our private space. Sometimes this creates conflict within us as a couple and sometimes, it is a platform to vent and regain lost energy.
As we continue down our rabbit hole of psychological and societal discovery, we become even more aware of the general hypocrisy and manipulation in people. They ‘speak’ of one way but will try and lie or manipulate others to achieve their selfish and self proclaimed rights.
Me, I do not fake my displeasure for the loud, fake or even those who infiltrate my space or peace, specifically if they know me and know what I’m about! I will clearly put up my boundaries if you try and take. I see everything.
My beloved, he is authentic and speaks his truth in our space but becomes the ‘actor on stage’, or the lead character in front people, clients, customers etc. beyond his providing instructional and technical knowledge.
Neither of us truly likes people and neither of us prefers to hang out, beyond our simple life of truth. This is completely acceptable!
Me, I don’t stop, acknowledge, say ‘Hello’ or converse with strangers or acquaintances unless I am face to face because I am authentic with being an introvert. I have nothing in common.
Him, he does this to avoid appearing like an asshole, but that is him being authentic to himself and as soon as he slides away, he may give rise to an unparalleled vent to offset, or balance, his dislike of interaction. Both very acceptable and both very much introverted ways.
We are both happy in solitude or the company we give authentically to one another.
The beauty of US, is that when the day is done, we are normal introverts grateful that we have both averted throat punching anyone for another day!
Be who you are!