HUMOR: The “not so funny” side

Humor is the spice of life!

Where would we be without a good laugh every now and then, right?

Both mental health and medical professionals prescribe it for health issues, families use it to lighten the mood of conflict and even babies naturally engage in it over the most simplistic encounters.

Personally, I love a childlike or witty sense of humor, where fun-loving playful acts are used to create a light hearted and fun experience.  Fun jokes fit for the target audience, playful actions and banter and comical media that serves to leave one with a sense of happiness and joy are some of the best types of humor running!

As a general rule, women and those who identify with more female traits tend to lean towards a more appropriate level of light and fun humor and enjoy the individuals who “make them laugh”, even seeking a romantic mate who accomplishes this, while males and the more masculine women tend towards the crude and sexual types of humor generally used to deflect or create a more “shock-based” response.  For men and “she-bros”, its all about the attention of the joke.  Masculine types do not generally seek romantic connections with others who use this type of humor because of its subconscious threat level.

But what happens when it is used as a source of degradation, humiliation and outright sarcastic meanness?  When plausible deniability is the basis for underlying emotion harm?  What happens when the attempts at humor are targeted to leave one or more feeling devalued or worthless as a person?

The most common type of negative humor used is “making fun” of others.  Although it is often deemed innocent or playful, this type of humor can create great harm. Making fun of a person is the flip-side of healthy humor.  In essence, it is bullying another in such a manner that the witnesses of this type of humor actually feel compelled to participate.

Teasing, name-calling, picking on, sarcastic comments, ridicule, gender-based statements geared at undermining a ‘whole’ group and a general bringing to light an individual’s flaws, actions or emotions as a means of eliciting a good laugh are all types of ‘making-fun’.

Often times, these deflections  hold a double-meaning in that the purveyor is hoping to bring harm to the subject, especially if they are deemed as a threat, to exert their own superiority and status, and even in attempt to force behavioral or belief change.

Making fun is a way to exert one’s opinion and belief system as the dominant opinion without coming across as a direct asshole.  Unfortunately, once the pattern is recognized, they come across as a direct asshole and a bully.

You see this type of humor a lot when it comes to more mean-spirited people, controlling individuals and narcissistics, and it can be found in both genders equally.

A direct example would be when a group of males make fun of women who are not physically appealing, overweight or disproportionate.  This behavior is typically executed in direct conversation, text messages and even social media comments or images geared to draw attention to a persons ‘perceived’ flaws (spider veins, overweight body, big thighs, skinny legs etc.) and can often be seen or heard in family gatherings and public places like gyms, grocery stores and the mall.

Making fun of people, especially when directed repetitiously at a specific person or type of person, is anything BUT humor and it reveals a very deep emotional issue within the jokester in need of healing.

Another type of common negative humor is the low-vibrational type that involves sexual innuendos and crude sexual connections…you know, the person that makes everything about sex no matter if it’s through vulgarity, jingles and even using sex content to dumb down common words or phrases.

Sex humor comes in many forms, but it typically uses sex or sexual innuendos as a basis for degrading or lessening the value of a person or place.  It is often used in situations where people feel comfortable or are looking to lift themselves up or generate attention that will bring them approval and is most often found in masculine personalities or where the patriarchal traits evolve.

Even though sex humor can seem benign, it is often viewed through many eyes and filters and not only can it deeply harm individuals on an emotional level, but it can serve as a further catalyst for humiliation, abuse and even crimes against certain groups or individuals.

An example of this type of humor would be group texting pictures of genitals on an overweight person or of a drunk and vulnerable individual, making fun of them or turning even the simplest of phrases into sexual words.  A more common type is making fun of women who stand up for certain rights as women and become the target of feminism jokes.

People who use a lot of sexual humor typically come from a space of deep sexual insecurity, issues or trauma, or have been sexually humiliated at some point in their lives, even held to rigid sexual standards or expectation.  Otherwise, they are generally just childish emotionally, even undeveloped or immature in specific areas of the brain.

Lets have a gander at the differences in humor, being punch-line based or non-sense based, which is more non-punchline or without a resolution and how the latter, especially in sexual humor, has a tendency towards those with mental health issues.

if we look upon the sexual-nonsense humor, on the other hand, it is not related to conservatism, but seems to be preferred by disinhibited, sensation-seeking, hedonistic, permissive and both interested and experienced in sex individuals (Hehl and Ruch 1990).

Close kin to sexual humor is the less common but equally appalling expression of crude humor.

Crude humor uses disease, disgust, blood and guts, feces and other over-the-top images, jokes, actions/pranks and comments to elicit a shocking response, which is typically uncomfortable laughter or outright disgust.

Often, the prankster has a history of emotionally immaturity and is looking more for a response from their target rather than intentional harm.  It’s all about the level of response, as if to up the ante of an already funny situation.

Examples might include texting pictures of your bathroom toilet contents before flushing, laughing at people who accidentally pee, leak blood or pass gas during exercise, posting picture of diabetic ulcers, sexually transmitted diseases and even dead people. More commonly and accepted examples would be videos that use senseless deaths through accidents as a source of entertainment.

People who engage in this shock and awe style of humor are really not trying to be funny as much as they are trying to make others uncomfortable, which is where they derive a sadistic sort of humorous pleasure.

People who are a constant clown, engaging in these negative humors are often deeply impacted by unresolved childhood and past issues.  They may use humor as a tool to control themselves and others, or draw a sense of pleasure from creating negativity in others lives.

The main thing about humor is that it speaks VOLUMES about the true individual you are deep inside and where your brain and intellect are primarily focused.

A joke is not a joke.


Published by NikkiAlbertVasquez

Our passion is men's, women's and couple's wellness, from being strong and independent to conquering the roadblocks that hinder valuable goals. We are here for those who are READY for CHANGE, who are WILLING to make CHANGE and who are seeking support and guidance on their journey. As a couple, we have quickly grown into a powerful team, the Viking and the Apache, helping men and women discover their own strengths, heal themselves and bring light (knowledge) into the world. It is our mission to help others reclaim their power, integrity and truth so they can heal the world!

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